Privacy

Everything we hold is here so we can do a better job of the one thing you came for, whether that is finding somebody or making a marriage better. We will never sell it and we will never hand it to anybody who wants it for their own reasons. You can have it deleted by asking. The rest of this page is the detail.

What we have right now

The site is not open yet, so all we hold is a mailing list. For each person on it: an email address, your relationship status, whether you are a woman or a man, and optionally your province.

Two of those need a reason rather than an assumption. Relationship statusdecides which half of the site we tell you about, and it is the honest version of a question we used to ask badly. Woman or man is because we will not open a dating site where nearly everyone is the same gender, and we cannot check that without asking. We do not ask why a marriage ended, and nothing here is shown to anybody else.

We also record which page you signed up from, and the dates you joined, confirmed and unsubscribed. That is the whole list.

What we do with it

• Email you when the site opens, and send the writing as it goes up.
• Count how many people are waiting, in which province, and how the numbers balance, so we know when there are enough of us to open.
• See which articles actually brought people, so we write more of what helps.

We do not sell or rent the list, and nobody gets it in a deal, ever.

Who else can see it

Three companies, all of them working for us and none of them allowed to use your information for anything of their own. DigitalOcean runs the servers and the database. Resend sends the email. Cloudflare handles the domain and the firewall that sits in front of the site. Their servers are in the United States, so your information leaves Canada, and United States authorities can compel access to data held there under their own laws. We think that is worth knowing rather than burying.

Why we collect what we collect

We are not trying to hold as little as possible for its own sake. We hold what helps, and we use it: to match people sensibly, to work out what to write, and to build tools that are actually useful to somebody at your stage of life. Some of that will use AI, and it will get better the more we understand.

The line we will not cross is who it is for. Every piece of this exists to help the person it came from. It is not sold, not rented, not traded for anything, and not handed to somebody who wants it for their own purposes. If we ever cannot explain how something we are collecting helps you, we should not be collecting it.

Analytics and cookies

We look at which pages bring people here and which ones get read, because that is how we decide what to write next. We use Google Analytics for it, which means Google receives a record of your visit and sets cookies so it can recognise a returning browser. It never receives your name, your email address, or anything you write on this site.

We run no advertising trackers and we are not on any ad network. The fonts are served from our own server rather than from Google, so the page itself does not call out anywhere. Once you sign in we set one more cookie, which is what keeps you signed in.

When the site opens

There will be more, and here is what it will be, so nothing arrives as a surprise.

• A dating profile, if you make one: your name as you choose to show it, your birth date, city, photographs, and what you told us about your faith, diet and hopes. Profiles are private to members, not public.
• A members-only forum, where you post under a handle rather than your name. Other members never see who you are. We do, because you have an account with us.
• Private conversations, on the dating side only, between two people who have each said yes to the other. Nobody can write to you before that. There is no private messaging on the marriage side, and moving there ends the conversations you had.
• Payment details, held by whoever processes the payments and not by us.

Your conversations, and who can see them

A conversation opens when two people on the dating side have each said yes to the other. It is words only: there is no way to send a picture, and that is deliberate rather than unfinished. Nothing you send can be unsent or edited afterwards. Either of you can block, at any moment and without giving a reason, and that closes the conversation so neither of you can add to it.

What neither of you can do is take it off the other one. Blocking closes the conversation and removes it from the blocker’s own messages. It leaves the other person’s copy exactly where it is. That is deliberate and it is worth saying why: otherwise somebody could send you something they should not have, block you a second later, and take away both your copy of it and every way you had of reporting them. What was said to you is yours.

We do not read them, and no software scans them. The only way anybody here sees what two members said to each other is if one of the two reports it. Reporting closes the conversation, so that neither of you can add to it while a person reads what was said, and you both keep it.

Private messaging exists for one purpose, which is two people working out whether to meet. It is not on the marriage side and it is not coming there.

Software reads what you post in the forum, and here is exactly what it looks for

The forum has no messaging, so some people will try to arrange contact in the open instead. Software checks forum posts for phone numbers, email addresses and social handles, and flags them to a person. That scanner looks for nothing else and it makes no decisions on its own.

It does not run on your private conversations. Exchanging a phone number is the whole point of those, and scanning a room for the thing it exists to do would be both pointless and a small betrayal.

We also use AI to help moderate the forum: spotting abuse, threats and illegal material so a human sees them quickly. Doing that means the text of forum posts is sent to an AI provider outside Canada. It is sent without your name attached, and it is not used to train anybody’s model. Private conversations are not sent anywhere.

We also expect to use what people write to make the site better at helping them: understanding what couples are actually struggling with, what to write next, and in time offering something more useful than a search box. That is the point of collecting any of it.

Here is the boundary, and it does not move. What you write is never shown to another member with your name on it, never sold, never used to sell you somebody else’s product, and never used against you. If you would rather not be part of that, tell us and we will take you out of it without taking you off the site.

How long we keep things

Your email stays on the list until you unsubscribe or ask us to delete it. When you unsubscribe we keep the address on a do-not-contact list, because that is the only way to be sure we never write to you again by accident. Ask us to delete and we delete, and the rest of this page stops applying to you.

A conversation is kept differently, and it is worth being exact:

• It stays for as long as either of you still has it. A conversation belongs to two people, and one of you cannot end it for the other.
• Blocked, and it closes and leaves the messages of whoever did the blocking. The other person keeps theirs. Once neither of you is holding it, it is deleted.
• Reported, and it is closed rather than deleted, so you both keep it and can go back and read it. A copy also goes to the report, and that copy stays for two years after we have dealt with it, which is the one case where something you sent outlives the conversation itself.
• A match nobody wrote in closes after about a week, and nothing is kept. Either of you can say yes again later.

What you can ask for

• A copy of everything we hold about you.
• A correction, if we have something wrong.
• Deletion.
• To stop hearing from us, which is one click in any email we send.

Write to [email protected] and a person will answer. If we get it wrong and you are not satisfied with how we handled it, you can complain to the Office of the Privacy Commissioner of Canada, and we would rather you did that than stay unhappy.

If this page changes

We will say so here and, if the change matters, in an email. We are not going to quietly widen what we do with your information and hope nobody notices.

Last updated 4 September 2026. Questions to [email protected], where a person reads them.